Hold me again
by Writing.In.Purple.Ink1
Summary: Edward remembers the time he spent with Roy before the war, and wishes the flame alchemist was there to hold him again. Yaoi, M for brief mentions of sex. This story has been edited and fixed.
1. Chapter 1

Do you remember the night of our first kiss, how I tackled you to the ground for calling me short again, and all you did was look up at me and smile, not trying to fight back, not making any of your stupid comments that irritated the hell out of me. All I could do was sit, straddling you torso, and stare into your beautiful brown eyes. I still can't say who made the first move, but suddenly our lips were touching and I couldn't believe I was kissing you, because it was you, and I never thought I stood a chance.

Do you still remember our first date, how awkward it was at first, and how nervous you were, we both were actually? I couldn't believe that you, Roy Mustang, the ladies man, the militaries whore as some people use to call (though never me), were actually nervous, and for some reason, it made things less awkward. Remember how we sat in the restaurant for hours, just talking, until finally we were the last ones there and we were actually asked to leave because they needed to close. You drove me home, we sat in silence but it was ok, because it was a good kind of quiet, and I was just happy to be there with you. When we got to my place you walked me to the door like a true gentleman, and I held back making any comments about being a man and being able to walk up the path myself. And I was glad I didn't say anything like that because we ended up making out in front of my house, but I of course wouldn't let you go any further because I didn't want to be like everyone else you had been with.

Can you still recall our first fight, it had only been 2 weeks into our relationship and we hadn't had a mean thing to say to each other the whole time. But then I screwed up that mission, endangering a ton of people's lives, including my own. You had been so pissed off when I came into you office to hand in my report, you spent the next 20 minutes yelling at me. It wasn't until I had stormed off that Al had pointed out to me that maybe the reason you had been so angry was because you were actually worried about me.

I can still remember our first time together; I can still remember the way it felt to have your strong hands, calloused from field work and war, running softly along my body. The feel of lips as they made their way down my neck. The way your burning dark eyes stared into mine, showing me how much you wanted me, still remains in my memory. You were so gently, putting my pleasure before yours, I couldn't remember I time when I had ever felt so loved and needed and just whole. The pleasure almost seemed unbearable but then I never wanted you to stop. After that night there was no doubt in my mind how I felt about you.

Remember the first time I got up the courage to say I love you. We had been going out for 4 months, and neither of us had even mentioned the word love, except after sex when you would tell me how much you loved my moans, or the way you felt inside me. But that didn't count. I hadn't even meant to say, sure I had known for awhile that I felt that way, but I was still scared that if I told you, you'd think things were getting to serious and run. We had been out drinking (which wasn't even legal since I was only 18) and it had only taken one beer to get me a little tipsy. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing, and then when you leaned over the table to kiss softly on the lips, I couldn't help it, all of the sudden the words were tumbling out of my mouth and I couldn't do anything to stop it. You were so shocked and I was so scared that I had just screwed it all up, but then you smiled at me and took my hand, I could feel my heart swelling in my chest. That night after we made love in your bed, which could have been considered mine too at that point with how often I slept there, and I was starting to doze off, you wrapped your arms around me and whispered so softly that I almost missed it, "I love you too Edward." I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night.

I can close my eyes and still picture every moment, every touch, every kiss, every glance, every embrace, every word, whispered, screamed, or said in the most tender way that it sometimes brought tears to eyes. The way you hold me after a horrible nightmare, I'll never be able to forget that gentle comforting embrace. You're my everything, my lover, my best friend, you're my soulmate. I trust you with my life, in the two years we've been going out, you've never let me down.

So why is it, that the the most important promise you ever made me, the one that meant more then anything else, is the one promise you could not keep. When you held me that day, your eyes filled with love, mine filled with tears, and whispered softly in my ear, "Don't worry shorty, I'll be home in no time, just you wait and see". I couldn't bring myself to get mad, not when I had to watch you walk off and into a battle where I couldn't protect you. Now I would give anything, just to have one more glance into those dark eyes so filled with love, to feel your lips against mine one more time, to be in your arms for one more second, to have one more fight with you.

Now your first broken promise is your last, and everyday my heart breaks alittle more knowing you'll never walk through that door again, you'll never wear that cocky grin, or call me pipsqueak again. I need you Roy, and I don't know how to live in a world where you aren't here. Every night I fall asleep to dreams of you, and every morning I wake up crying when I realize that they had been just that, and I would never wake up in your arms again. I love you so much, never forget that, because I can't forget any of it, and I would never want to. Thank you, for making me truly happy even if it feels like you were taken away to early, at least we had two years, and I would do it all over again, because it's you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal alchemist


	2. Authors Note SORRY

Authors note: I'm sorry for taking so long to update my story, between high school, homework, and getting sick I haven't had much time, but I'll update soon.


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